Labor and Delivery: continued.

I woke up on Day two feeling no different than day one. I was still confined to my bed... only allowed to get up to change my dressing, and only with excessive assistance.

I asked the nurse at every visit when i could get "unhooked" from everything, when I could get up on my own. Luckily since I was moving exceptionally well and voluntarily switched off my morphine to percocet I was able to do so fairly quickly. 

I took a shower, I got to put on my own clothes, and I got to walk around with my baby girl. 

Things were instantly better, though I felt a bit cheated out of full involvement in her first day with us.
I quickly got over the guilty feeling being so unaware that first day. 

It was hard to get in and out of bed. I still depended on Rob for most things.The nurses had to keep reminding me that I just had major surgery, that I needed to stay ahead of the pain. I fought off taking pain meds till the last minute. They made me tired, sometimes too tired. 

I got up in the middle of the night just to watch her, to carry her, to touch her. It was amazing. 

Over the next few days I struggled to nurse with the help of an over-zealous lactation consultant.She was no help. 

She was so good in the hospital, she had such a quiet cry. It seemed like we couldn't go more than an hour without one of us remarking about how lucky we were. I felt like it wasn't real, I couldn't have something this good. I felt like someone was going to take her back. "Just kidding". Like every minute past the raising of the curtain in the OR was a sick slight of hand. 

It's real. We were told that we may never have children but here she is. She is perfect. 

She has been easy on us thus far. She is a good sleeper, a good eater, and so very alert. She has since found her lungs but doesnt use them to the full extent all too often. Sweet little girl. 

I am feeling better, but I am still on meds. I wont be 100% for a while. They say I wont be completely put back together for about another 4 weeks, but each day is better than the last. Today is especially better seeing as I got my god awefull staples out. I've lost nearly 20 pounds since delivery. Not intentionally, in fact I lost 9 pounds in three days and it freaked me out a bit. The meds kill my appetite.

Miss Lyla is up 5oz from her last visit. Happy, healthy baby. Life is pretty great.

How much of a life is wasted in waiting?