Friday, October 14, 2011

Nostalgia

Every weekend I return to my hometown. Its only about an hour away so its easy enough to see my family. In fact I hope to move closer to home and eventually trade the land I have here for a chunk of land there.

I haven't thought much about what moving 'home' would mean. The only things I have considered are the benefits of being close to family, in a familiar environment, and where I would prefer to live.  I haven't considered the factors dealing with reoccurring nostalgia.

Just the thought has me thinking about high school. Everyone told me all trough out high school that someday I would wish to go back there and do it all again. They were wrong. I didn't have a terrible high school experience. I had friends from all walks of life, a boyfriend, a good home life, and I got into plenty of trouble. Mostly high school was boring. I skipped class, never did my homework, aced all of my tests and never put forth any effort. I wasn't particularly popular, self conscious or mean. I was the counselor and the confidant.

I don't remember particularly having problems with anyone in my high school. Everyone has scuffles, but everyone irritated me for the most part so I guess I categorize all adolescent irritation as normal.  I wasn't bullied but I could be a bully. Of course i'm not proud of that, but my mind at the time saw revenge as a necessary survival tool for school.  I had made it a point to not start the fire, but I would certainly keep it burning if someone burned me. Oh how times have changed. I would never do these things now. I would never support it, but I had a bad attitude and high school is a breeding ground for angst and anger. At least I got it out early.

One girl in particular sits in my mind. She transferred to my school my junior year (I believe) and was a year younger than me. I don't remember her name. She thought she was a vampire, before it was cool and sparkly. In fact it became a running joke within my class, people even wore cloves of garlic to school. I'll admit I am weird, I love being weird.... but I know how to present myself where people think i am delightfully quirky not a nut-job. Obviously she lacked social skills and high school is no place to hone such skills unfortunately.

 The things we did were wrong... but there has got to be some level of self realization to it. I wasn't mean to her because she thought she was a vampire, I was mean to her because she knew nothing about vampires and still claimed to be a day walking garlic eating reflection bearing vampire. I don't tolerate stupidity well. On top of all that she attempted to beat up my boyfriend with a wallet on a chain. It didn't work out well for her, she received the wallet back with force. I have always been protective of my loved ones. Truthfully trying to hurt him is probably what landed her on my radar permanently. Her stupidity landed her on my group of friends radar... it wasn't a good year for her.

We were freaks and aggressive at that. My friends were always providing a shelter for other legitimate freaks, geeks, weirdos, and social misfits. Everyone had a chance. How on earth this girl managed to piss off  all of us simultaneously is beyond me.  I have a temper I'll admit it, but my best friend (who was queen of the misfits and proud if it) has infinitely more patience with people than I do. Even she shared our feelings.

its funny how things have changed. Now, I would ignore her. If forced to converse i would be sarcastic at most. Would I stand up for my husband still, of course. I'm sure I would have better ways of doing that now.
In fact i know I would.

would I have to deal with her if I moved home? doubtful.... even if I did  its been forever.


  

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