Day 5- style and medication

Today is day 5 of my bout with anti-depressants.

I hate to admit it, but they are helping. It is cumulative so I wont know the full effects for a bit, but I do notice increases in my energy and an uplifted mood.

 The cloud of apathy has lifted. Its nice when the air is clear.

Everyone needs a little help every now and then. I have been strong enough to hold my little family up in crisis. We've decided its my turn to find myself, find my art, my style, and pursue my dreams. Luckily enough for me and my husband some of our dreams coincide and the bigger dreams  fit nicely together. One doesn't conflict with the other. A beautiful luxury to hold.

A few things I've discovered about myself:
    My style has changed drastically. I'll still consider it alternative.  Something like a vintage retro rockabilly hippie chick. More Modcloth and less Hot Topic.

More this:

Less This:

I still enjoy  Hot Topic. I still enjoy the look of tattoos and gauged ears, but it seems I may have grown in a different alternative direction. I no longer have the desire for facial piercings because it would inhibit my ability to change styles everyday. I am in love with versatile pieces, pieces that can transcend style genres. 

I'm feeling more Sephora than Cover girl, more Rockabilly than punk rock, and more rebellious beauty than angry teen angst. 

Its hard to put down exactly how my style will progress and even if I could put it into words and pictures you would still take your own ideals and inferences along with it because I can't yet show you the big picture. 

Balance

I have always consciously tried to achieve balance in my life.
Sometimes I need help, and as of late that help included pharmaceutical intervention. I put it off for as long as I could.
For now we will call it postpartum  depression. My mood swings were out of control.  Life is good, I really had no reason to be sad. So drugs it is.

I am currently on day 4 of  celexa. The drugs are cumulative so I wont notice any effects for close to another week. I have no appetite which clears up the worry that anti-depressants would slow down my weight-loss.

I'm still struggling with the thought of anti-depressants. I dont like the idea of needing a pill to make me feel human. I should be able to adjust my own attitude. On the other hand I have never before been this down for this long before, I have always been able to pick myself up.

We will see.