Wednesday, December 26, 2012

cool air

Its December 26th.

Im wearing a tank top. The windows are open in my home and wind is whipping through  with lovely cool scents. A touch of frankincense and rose oil simmer in the corner.

I spent Christmas with my best friends and family. We ate a vegetarian potluck. We laughed and drank wine. Exchanged goofy presents.Went for a walk in the night air to look at Christmas lights.

 I am not homesick. I had a beautiful peaceful warm Christmas. I went camping days before on the solstice with my best friends.

This place is beautiful.

Sometimes i wish that i could explain in depth the beauty of this place and this family. If i could sit someone down and pour my heart and experiences out to a deaf ear. Then i venture out among the masses and remember why i pour myself into my family. My husband, My daughter, My dearest friends...

My soul is aching in the best way. I am feeling so very affectionate. I cannot stop smiling though i feel as crazy as ever.

Tomorrow will hurt and my loved ones will be there to support me.

Saturday, November 24, 2012

Change of scenery

It's seems that as much as I have changed this season still makes me feel the same 

Although Im 1100 miles from home I'm still filling in the same traditions. The tree is up and decorated though it is the least Christmasy Christmas tree ever by choice . It seems every year as soon as the tree is up I leave sleep behind me as a distant memory.

Though each season has it's own distinct differences. I started out writing in journals by the light of the tree. Then on the computer maybe on my phone. Now on a tablet.

I often worried about living a life that had been lived 1000 times before. I wrote about how I'd make my life stand out from those around me. Id be lying if I said that fantasizing about being rich and famous wasn't a part of that need to stand out.  It did fade away as I matured and realized that the desire to differentiate my life was a reality and fame wasn't the way I would naturally design my future 

I sit here in Florida, still cold by the way, realizing my path to living a life less lived  has begun a long time ago 

Perhaps I should explain 'a life less lived'. I never wanted to live the same life as those people around me. I was certainly on my way to one. Farm house, young marriage, family, housewife... I was on my way to xanax, mind numbing antidepressants and hiding liquor around the house to numb my existence.

It works beautifully for some, they want to be cared For and don't need the drugs to cope . I am a restless soul.

I move forward with a great need to finish my novel, to increase my art skill, to make an impact  and support my family's endeavors 

I am certainly living a life less traversed by standards and knowledge that I can't even express 

Friday, November 16, 2012

Here we go again....

Here I go again.

My weight loss has reached a staggering plateau. I changed my eating habits, cut out soda and processed food, and I even cut out most animal products, still nothing. The scale did not budge. I increased my activity, still no progress.
So yesterday I pouted. Today I resume The Master Cleanse that I had been forced to stop in month prior.
Last time i sliced my finger open and my husband required me to consume calories because i was turning green.

Today I begin a (hopefully) 7 day fast of a weirdly satiating lemonade drink.

For some strange reason I unconsciously enjoy timing these things so they will be rather difficult .      If you notice my schedule i managed to start my fast so thanksgiving isn't an option. Though a vegetarian Thanksgiving cant really be that bad for you anyways.

    I have plenty of things to keep my mind busy. Aside from being a mom I have a ink series im working on, an acrylic self portrait, illustrations, a few writings and a novel. 

I will try and blog my descent into the Master cleanse daily... So far so good. 
wish me luck,

Sunday, November 11, 2012

Tuesday, October 23, 2012


Good will.
Thai food.
Sex superstore.

Today is a win but I am fucking tired!

Saturday, October 20, 2012


Halloween costumes are pathetic.

-le sigh-

Dont people get excited for Halloween  I walk through aisles and aisles of dress just like this awful synthetic 'witch' costumes. Should I be offended? I am. Not by the stereotypical witch but by the lazyness of people. 
At least take advantage of the holiday to look cool... 
I own real corsets... and im not even as dedicated as my best friend. 
Half of these were just for fun...

Merry Samhain.

Thursday, October 18, 2012


I often wonder how people perceive me. What a cliche I must seem to be.

I moved my family 1100 miles to be with my friends whom I love as a family. I wasn't satisfied enough being an hour away from my home town.
I was offered art and love with no guarantee for success and I jumped at it. I can't thank them enough.

We all said we would get out of Delta and we did. We ran away like it was on fire.

I am a vegetarian animal loving artist. I'm working on the hippie title but I don't think I'm there yet.
I cook with alfalfa sprouts and organic produce. I draw detailed animal skeletons for fun I love Cephalopods.
I just sent my husband out to a vegan restaurant called 'The loving Hut' for dinner.
I have rainbow hair. I lust over pin up clothing vintage and modern.
I am busy planning to much food for a Halloween party because Its my favorite holiday.

I love my friends more than most people love their families.

I ran away from a complacent life in ohio for a beautiful one in Florida.

I have a beautifully loving supportive family in ohio. Nothing to run from.

Complacency scares me. It's unacceptable. I need more for my loved ones.

How pompous We all must seem because we take risks. We are the characters everyone loves but no one believes exists.

Creepy gnome war...

I'm it...

Sunday, October 7, 2012

These old bones...

Recent art compilation. Not everything I've produced recently but the stuff I enjoy the most.