Wednesday, January 11, 2012

Introverted Introspection

This test this stupid typology test,  in its own right, is brilliant.

Most of the people I know have walked around feeling different, and typically proud to be so. Though I have to admit explaining your difference can be exhausting. Now by a simple test we are labeled. Four letters that represent things we are prone to doing or feeling.

I think at first its insulting. Labeling those who have never been labeled. I cried and cried at my diagnosis. INFJ, the rarest, roughly 1% of the population. Thats very lonely on its own, but I've found people. People just as rare but different in each way. Instinctively we found each other. Freaks band together. I've always had people to relate to, to prove to me that we are always more than what we seem.

I forgot how different we were for a time being. We banded together. Hell we even lived together. I fought it most of the way, which is entirely indicative of my type. (at this point its become more funny than frustrating)

I found out really how different I was when I had a "normal" boyfriend. I didn't understand why he didn't get me after months... why he couldn't realize when I was hurt, or what little things may hurt me. I held almost all of myself from him, every time I let that slip I got a look. A look that suggested I was batshit crazy. I look i didn't deal with well. Its a very cold way to deal with people, letting them only deal with the surface. I now understand completely why I do it and how often it occurs.

Its become amusing how much we all fit our types. Its also helping me communicate on a more successful level, slowly but surely. A dear extrovert friend suggested that the typing helped her communicate more effectively, and shes communicate extremely well on her own already. Imagine what it could do for me.

Its certainly helped my husband to think a bit about what he says to me, for I may think way to much about its "deeper meaning". On the other hand I'm learning not to look to far into EVERYTHING.

It has also solidified my odd ability to know people. To know when someone is lying without being able to explain why. To pick up a bad vibe or even a good one and instinctively know what to do with people.

Its a wonderful tool for my recent journey in introspection.
Yes, I do realize the hilarity in that.

1 comment:

  1. I'm looking forward to discussing this in person. Nathan and I have done even more extensive research on it (because we're like that...) But anywhoo... he's really excited to talk to you about it especially. You'll totally get him, he has a way of explaining things to us. Oh, and I'm glad you posted your painting on here. I loved it on the phone, but on here I can really understand the texture a overall presence of it. I love it even more! I hope you finish it!