Moving on with life as it is.
I've written various statements on this blog as to who or what I am in life. Most of these statements filled with idealized descriptors and self realized faults.
Lately I feel different
I know who I am. I've obviously stated that here an obnoxious amount.
Even through my life changes I am who I am.
I am very ready to move. I feel very alone here. Even surrounded by people I feel alone.
I explored a bit of a thought experiment with my previous attachments to people in life.
Would I feel this alone if I retained all of my 'old friends'? Stipulating problems would have been resolved and everyone on be good terms. I have had a lot of people in my life. Postulating scenarios in which our lives have changed and grown would, from an outside perspective, seem more favorable than my current friendships. A lot of my previously discarded friends have similar life styles to mine.
But I imagine sitting in a room full of people who barely scratch the surface of life; of me.
Perhaps the surface of my being and those I hold dear is comparable to the discarded friends deepest depths.
I can't really lay blame on them for not exploring the depths of life. How can they fathom depth if they themselves have none.
I do hold them, or my lasting image of them, dear to me. If it wasn't for these discarded people my life would not have been the same.
I do hope the universe makes life simple for them, for their lack of depth.
I also hope that the universe realizes the depth of my loved ones and grants us some leeway.