Monday, August 1, 2011

Wordless weekend.

All weekend I was thinking about where I was this time last year. Life was drastically different.

This time last year I was living in Bowling Green separated from my husband. This last weekend signified something different.A year ago We were on vacation. We were on vacation with roughly 5 other people. My closest friends, my estranged husband and I had every intention on going to Otakon. A large anime convention that lasted all weekend.

I had no intention of any magical moments, in fact I figured I would be so over stimulated I wouldn't be working on my marriage problems much. My only goal was to see the ocean and he made that happen.

We skipped the convention entirely. Drove 2 and 1/2 hours (each way) to the beach ourselves Friday and Saturday. On  both trips to the beach I cried. I cried happy tears , I cried painful tears. Both days were peppered with incredibly open talks about our relationship, what was there and what wasn't.

  The rest of the weekend was on the beach. I cast my first steps into the ocean, was knocked over by waves, and ran like an idiot from jellyfish. We sat on the beach until nightfall and bought useless souvenirs on the board walk.

   Here I am a year later, nesting. I spent this weekend working on the nursery with Rob, cleaning, and making things for our daughter. One year from Ocean City and I am 33 weeks pregnant. Something we never thought we would be able to say.  We were both told that natural conception was near impossible. As a matter of fact  if it would have been easy for our bodies to reproduce I would have been pregnant a long time ago. Not by intention either, you tend to throw caution to the wind when doctors tell you AND your partner there in no chance of natural conception.

Our marriage is by no means perfect. I had to come along way and so did he. I wouldn't ask for anything more. It's just right for us. We never much liked the idea of perfect. Perfect seems to suggest it doesn't get any better, it doesn't change, it never evolves. How boring, I do not wish perfection on anyone.

   Now we get to be parents. Which still blows my mind a bit. WE are making healthy decisions for our child. Homemade food, breast feeding, cloth diapers, sign language,  and more. Honestly I don't know if we would have made some of these decisions earlier in our marriage.

Everything happens for a reason

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