Friday, December 23, 2011


8th. I miss this hair. 

I took this with my first digital camera. After probably the second time I dyed my hair. 
I don't miss this person. This person was confused about what she wanted. This person had an eating disorder and was smart enough to hide it. This person held way to much stock in her slutty best friend. This person had no self confidence. 

Graduation. I don't really miss this person either. 
This person thought she knew everything. She certain wasn't afraid to say anything that came to her mind. Her friends were her life, though she still had the wrong kind of friends. She was however learning that being friends with a lot of people was not good for her, it clouded her judgement on any one account. She only saw things as a  whole. Black and white so to speak. 

This person was rude defiant and angry. This person had no idea how to escape the hole she had dug. This person had no faith in anything. 

I love this person. 
annnd she loved herself,  a lot.  She did exactly what she wanted to do.  She loved life and made it so damn confusing. She didn't care about anyone outside her circle. 
This is one of my favorites. 
She is free. She is in love. Head over heels and butterflies. 

This person is also in love. 
A very different kind of love. This person is wonder-struck.
In awe. 

I am this person,
I am learning. I am re-evaluating. I am growing.
 I am a Mother. I am a wife and lover. I am a small part of a big family. I am loved.  
I am an artisan. I am intelligent. I am creative. 
I am confusing. I am illogical.  I am transparent. 
I am this person and all of these other people. 
I am multidimensional. 

I used to get insanely competitive, and think other people were being me with more success than I was.
Thats simply not true, but i have no problem admitting to this temporary insecurity.  Its frustrating when your self image is unintentionally shared. At one point it was a good thing. It allowed for some reflection. 
Is that what I look like? Is that what I sound like? I don't want to be like that. 
Time for a change. 

It is the curse of the caring and creative souls to see a need for a rebirth. 

I feel much better, but I am still not there yet.

1 comment:

  1. How is this it all happens at the same time? Beautiful. I love you.