Saturday, March 5, 2011


I am a woman. Id like to think I am a strong woman, but don't we all?

When I was younger I always wanted to be more, more than a woman. Not in a hermaphrodite like way, but more in the way of status. The things that were (and are) on my mind were always comparable to those of men and were considered odd for a woman or even a girl to have such thoughts. It is said That the male mind thinks of sex every 8 seconds. Well so does mine. Even in the playground I was the one girl who wore boots and was allowed to chase the boys into the snow.
  I know I have always been different but the way I have been different has changed dramatically. I used to be quiet. That is a large leap from my big mouth now but it is true. I was in the group of friends who didn't much care what we were wearing but rather enjoyed grossing each other out and silently making fun of the stupidity of others. I didn't like attention. I have come quite a long way.
  Still through out my changes I didn't like being treated like a girl. I was something else, something better. At least thats what I thought. I made it a point to hang out with mostly boys and To be treated like a boy. I played violent video games and rolled with the punches better than the other girls. I unfortunately ate like my guy friends too. I was physically stronger than most girls around me and had a formidable attitude. In fact I was mostly oblivious. I was so used to being treated like one of the guys I never realized when some guy friends became interested in being more than friends. Most I didn't even find out until  much later in a reminiscent sort of way. I had always had the impression that guys didn't like my type of girl, and I had a boyfriend. What did I care?
   In school I had obnoxiously scoffed at girls whose only goals in life were to be wives. While I have my life established and my future in motion, slow motion, I am now a housewife. I suppose technically I could be considered a breeder, an amateur wig maker, a groomer, a trainer, among other things that bring in money here and there. I am still a housewife.... and Im ok with it for now.
  I have grown into being a woman... but I still don't like being treated as weak or fragile. I still carry my attitude.
 Sometimes I would much rather be a boy. 

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