Tuesday, February 1, 2011


February can get fucked. I just want it to be over already. I have a feeling I'm going to be fighting off stress all month. The chance of a miscarriage drops by nearly 80% after the first trimester. This is the last month of the first trimester for me. I am trying to stay positive, honestly I know there isn't much I can do to prevent such a thing but the thought still remains.

Outside stress factors are truly what I am bracing my self for. As much as we try we cannot control people or make them stay in another state. Maybe I can will them away.   -closes eyes real tight-  ... damn. Granted I haven't experienced anything in the last few months that should worry me. No contact or stress in close to 5 months.  Better to be prepared, I guess. I'd rather not be jumped  by stress but pleasantly surprised if there is a lack of it.

Unfortunately I am facing the fact that I will soon have to deal with my in-laws, which I can't stand. Truthfully most of them are terrible manipulative people whom I'd rather my child not be around. Separately three of them are teetering on the idea of moving farther away, not quite far enough for my taste but then again I'm not sure how far that would take. I pray everyday that they move... far away.

I really don't have much to complain about presently. I am just preparing myself I guess. I mean we have a house, a big house. Limited bills, room for animals, a big yard, and projects to do around the house. My only wish is that I was closer to my family. Still I'm kind of spoiled if you look at it from any perspective. Pregnancy has made me a princess, I don't like it.
I shouldn't complain.... Im getting a new digital SLR camera this month.

As long as I vent it doesn't weight heavy on my mind, expect lots of venting.
The more I write the less tress I have. 

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