Originally the book was merely a tool for me to help blow off some steam. Stress, at that time, was my life. I had friends I cared for who didn't care much for me and I ignored the friends who mean everything to me today. Above everything else a dear friend had betrayed my trust and the events that surrounded the situation were... less than wonderful. The book sparked from that very instance. I was livid. I was vicious and Uncaring. Not one reasonable soul questioned my anger, It was justified. Writing always helped me feel some sort of control even if only for a brief time.
The two main characters [Fawn and Eddie] were based on the personalities and exaggerated character flaws of the above mentioned 'friends'. Then of course I had cast my real friends and myself all in supporting roles with no flaws what so ever. We were are very idealized super human deductive types who managed to collaborate and save the day. Which was a terrible story all in itself. I never got past three chapters because it was all out of ill conceived anger. The basis for the story, though, is quite good.
Now my anger has been subsided for years and I care not about the mistakes of myself or others. With out the miasmal drama surrounding the characters the story has begun to flow freely.
Ive had hours of back and forth with my husband about plot detail character profiles and historical significance. Its been amazingly simple and fun.
Fawn grew out of spiteful anger. I had her personality concocted of stupidity, insanity, anger, and a touch of delusion. Now that influence has long since left me. She has since evolved into a beautiful manipulative force that actually makes sense as a main character in the role she is cast. Some of her original character flaws still remain in tact, but now they fit within in her set of characteristics. Her name is going to change too... I am just not to caught up on that name anymore.
Eddie has changed beautifully too, everything about him has changed. He had been a painfully stereotypical charming rebel sense about him in the beginning. Ive been working on his background for the past few hours with Rob. Of course i had to place one of my characters origins in Georgia, He is becoming real to me.
I have muttled out the lead in to a memory of fawns who is named Anna in this part.... i dont like the name fawn anymore... here it is
Music poured out of the bar into the night air. Familiar guitar riffs and popular lyrics rang out from unfamiliar voices and patrons could be seen dancing wildly and uninhibited from the back entrance.
A curious looking couple sat perched on the open tail gate of an old ford truck in the parking lot. He sat staring through the bar’s open door with an undefined reverence. She appeared to be elsewhere in thought, eyes closed, letting the music take her away.
“I’m sorry the new door man wouldn’t let you in. Im sure when the band comes out they’ll vouch for you” His face turned towards her in the light showing his striking blue eyes.
“Don’t worry about it. It’s not the first time this has happened. This place goes through door men like you wouldn’t believe. I like it out here anyway. Less idiots.” A smirk traveled across her face. “Di you know That band used to be a classic rock tribute band? It would have been incredibly lame if I wasn’t for Alan. He made the songs his own. He is the only reason I came.”
Another light on the building clicked on revealing more of the gravel lot. It also allowed Ian to inspect his companion more closely. Her green eyes seemed to gleam against the olive tone of her skin. Ian had always wondered if Black had been her natural hair color or an attempt to carry on an exotic mystique. Either way it suited her well as her hair fell at the shoulders with a slight curl. She was tiny, barely over five feet he guessed. A chuckle escaped Ians lips as he watched her legs dangle off the tailgate.
“What are you laughing at?” Her voice held a demanding tone.
“It’s nothing, really.” He searched for change of subject that didn’t involve her height. “When was it? I mean when were they a tribute band? I don’t remember that.”
“Two, maybe three, years ago and I couldn’t stand it. Alan was always so talented it seemed like a waste of his time. I used to come every Thursday night with Eddie.” She stopped abruptly, it had been a while since she had uttered that name to another human being.
“Eddie? Have I met him?” The confusion in Ian’s tone was understandable. They hung out with a tight knit group. It was odd for a part of that group to go unmentioned.
“Oh.” The abrupt answer held a thick band of awkward silence. Ian couldn’t stand silence. “ Were you two close or…?” He trailed off thinking the question was open ended enough to get her talking again. She stayed silent. She didn’t even look in his direction. “Anna, are you ok?”
“He died.” A soft quiver surrounded her voice. “ He died before I met you. I haven’t talked about him in ages. In fact I haven’t even spoken his name out loud in nearly a year. Without him, I wouldn’t be who I am today. I was an entirely different person then. I was…” The girl stopped abruptly again as if her voice had escaped her body.
“ Wow. What happened to him?” Ian realized after saying this that it might not be the best question to ask. In fact it was probably the worst. He shook his head at his own stupidity. “I’m sorry. I shouldn’t have asked. My mouth just works faster than my brain sometimes.”
Anna didn’t even hear her companion.“We sat here, just like this, every Thursday. Back then It was all classic rock cover songs so we never really listened to the band. Sometimes we would come with a big group of people and other times it would just be Allan, Eddie, and I. It was our routine. We were inseparable”. The smile returned to her face.
Ian sat quietly, waiting for her to say something else. It was near painful to resist breaking the silence.
“You would have liked him” She still didn’t look in Ian’s direction.
“He was something else. Eddie loved to make people laugh, laugh until they hurt. He was my best friend. I loved him. He shouldn’t have died that way.” Shaking, Anna locked her gaze at Ian. “I saw him die. I felt his spirit leave.”
“Tell me what happened.” The familiar silence fell again” Anna you can’t keep something like that inside. Tell me What happened.”
Slowly she moved her gaze back towards the bar. Music still poured out into the parking lot but now it was jumbled and unrecognizable. It was still early in the evening. Ian was right. The last thing Anna needed was more secrets.