Tuesday, January 4, 2011


I wonder when was it that I became a weird child?   Is it ingrained in my DNA? Was it developed after i had a very hard 13th year of life? Was it all in all inevitable?

I was an odd child I suppose. As soon as i could sit up on my own I began to stare off into space or stare 'through' people. It doesn't help that i have a creative bunch of family members who were always around. Artists, quilters, knitters,  woodworkers, and just about anything else. A creative home usually does lead children to live creative lives. I loved living in a creative home.

I instantly excelled at art in school. I remember my art teacher saying "I don't understand how you make your charcoal drawing so soft and light She was impressed." She wasn't very impressive an artist. She had students that surpassed her talents well before college. Still it was nice to hear a professional admire my raw talent (if thats what you'd call it). I will admit that I am an amateur artist with professional tools. It is a hobby. I am surrounded by professional or near professional artists. Yet still i am in a creative world full of weird people. 

I tried for a few years to emulate a girl that had moved to delta in 7th grade. All the boys liked her, she was easy. I couldn't bring myself to be like that. Which led to a group of our guy friends betting to see who could bed me first. Me beings the weirdo i am, was completely aware of the bet. I made a deal with my Ex-boyfriend who was still a great friend. The deal was  that he could pretend to win the bet and we would split the money. I didn't care about the money, I had a job. I wanted the four additional horn dogs to leave me alone. ...I suppose she did teach me to manipulate stupid boys.  I guess i made that creative in my own right. I was bored. 

Finally I hooked up with my current friends. All weirdos and that goes without saying.

Ive always made clothes, bags, quilts and drawings. Recently, along with my friends, I started making costumes. Then I began making dreads. Where that intuitive leap came from I don't know. From there lead to wigs, masks, and beyond. They say creativity leads to schizophrenia, i feel like it sometimes. 

Why in the hell am i making a wig? 
I dont know, because i want to. Oh ok.

Maybe my love of the craft made me a weird child. 6th or 7th grade Jonathan and I would spend hours on the phone talking about it. I remember him burning herbs on one end of the  line and I was on the other playing with candle magic the first conversation we had alone. That next day I printed off 75 pages about magic. I was a bit over zealous. I cannot help but feel things like that were destined to happen. Ive been awake ever since and we have always  had  an odd connection.

Writing this book has made me return to an introspective state. Every author tends to reveal more about themselves  and their experiences more than anything else. I am putting my heart and soul into this story. I never had any intention of publishing it. I just wanted to write a novel. I suppose if it fairs well among my friends ill consider it. 

Weirdo signing off.....

Sociopath - an anti social personality that can be characterized by pathological lying, Lack of Remorse, Shame or Guilt, Shallow Emotions, a Glibness/Superficial Charm, a Grandiose Sense of Self and paranoid delusions etc... 

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